Summer Days, Filled with Rage

I hadn't realized — or, more accurately, hadn't bother to think about — what summer in New York would be like until this past week when, like it or not, both the weather and the avenues started showing serious signs of the season, indeed. In an effort to shed some of the 10-15 pounds I've gained since I moved here and adopted a steady diet of high-carbs and butt-loads of sugar — not to mention a work-out routine that's resembled something more like bed rest for 4 months straight, I've decided to get out for a long walk every day. Missing the foresight that would have told me going through midtown the week before Memorial Day was a terrible idea, I headed south right through the most charmless part of Manhattan towards TJMaxx where I needed to return some shoes.

Good god, between how fucking hot I was, how congested the streets were with sunburned tourists pushing strollers and carrying countless shopping bags, and considering that the birth control I've been on since October has made me so completely bonkers, it's amazing I didn't tear off someone's nut-sack and shove it down his throat. Which is exactly what I wanted to do yesterday in the middle of the afternoon when I cut short hanging out with an old friend to meet up with some dude from Craigslist at the gym to sign paperwork to transfer my membership to him and he STOOD ME UP not even one hour after I called to confirm our meet-up. Oh my God, I was livid. I don't think it's possible any woman has ever been so angry about being stood up by some doofus she's got no interest in dating. I waited in the lobby of that stupid gym for over 30 minutes just twiddling my thumbs and trying to tune out the sounds of VH1 music videos blasting from the screens above the line of empty treadmills. Second, by second, I could feel the cool chill of my resolve growing warmer and warmer until, finally, back at home, in a fit of boiling rage, unable to grab hold of the offender's balls  — or anyone's ball's except my boyfriend's who really didn't deserve my wrath — I grabbed hold of a pair of scissors instead and furiously started cutting at my birth control pills until all that remained of them was a pile of hormone-filled powder. And then I brushed them into a paper towel and threw them away, sending a clear message to all pills that may cross my path in the future that I am not one to be fucked with.

That I've felt on edge and mildly angry for the last few months and have gained enough weight to burst through the seams of everything I own could very well have some explanation other than the unnaturally high levels of estrogen coursing through my body, but just by chance that the pills were to blame, I've gotten rid of them for good and have switched to a low-dose pill that I hope will add a bit more balance — if not sweet serenity — to my life again. In addition, I've decided to go north on all my walks from now on.

Comments

[ALH]

Not to scare you, but... watch out for those low-dose pills. About half the people I've known who have gone on them have gotten pregnant despite taking them religiously... but I hope your rage subsides soon either way.

[Natalee]

I rage out on ANY kind of birth control. Of course, the joke was on me, since little did we know we are infertile and don't need it! I could've spent that money on shoes!

Good luck with the low-dose, hope that does the trick for you!

[teahouseblossom]

Gym jerk stood you up? What an arse!

Ok, we are going to hang out soon. I'm going out of town to visit my sister this coming weekend, but are you around next? We have to get together; this is getting ridiculous. Now that the pesky wedding thing is behind me and summer is upon us, we should schedule something.

And summer in NYC is always hot and sweaty and icky. That's why we have awesome gelato..I'll take you to my favorite place!

[citywendy]

THB: I'm actually going to Vermont the weekend after next, but I'm here the weekend after that. Are you? Would love to see this favorite gelato place of yours.

[teahouseblossom]

Exxx-cellent. It's a date! Drop me an email when you get a chance, and we'll coordinate.