SWF seeks GM

So life in New York is going well — I'm making friends, I have work I enjoy, I'm taking some fun classes, am close to the park, the apartment is coming together, I don't even hate the neighborhood as much as I did at first, and yet, something is still missing and last night on the way home from dinner, it finally occurred to me exactly what that something is.

"I don't have any gays!" I said to Drew out of the blue as we shuffled passed 48th and 9th.
"What?" he said.
"Gays! I don't have any! I've always had lots of gay boyfriends and now I don't have one." I wailed.
"Well," he said gesturing to our notoriously gay neighborhood, "If you don't have any gay boyfriends yet and you live here, you're definitely doing something wrong."
"I know!" I said, "but what? I'm not putting myself out there enough? I'm not putting enough effort into my appearance? I don't seem approachable? What is it? Why don't the gays like me here?"
"Maybe you should go hang out at Therapy. By yourself." Drew suggested.
"Oh, my kind of gays aren't going to be at Therapy on a Friday night!" I said, "They're gonna be at dinner parties!"
"Oh, I know!" I said, snapping my fingers, "I could place an ad! It could read: 'Straight White Female seeks Gay Boyfriend for bike rides in the park, flea market shopping, Sedaris readings, and brunch. Must like karaoke, decorating, and dinner parties! Bonus for green thumbs and a love of cats.'"
"That's pretty good," Drew replied, "You should do it."
"Or..." I said, "I could just call up an old college acquaintance who happens to be gay and see if he wants to grab a beer sometime..."

Comments

[stephanerd]

It's so funny that you're posting about this, because I was complaining about the very same thing just the other week. I had TONS of gay boyfriends when I was living in Boston.

::sigh::

That was the life.

[BNY]

My first New Yorker friend is gay. Cliche, I know. But essential.

[BNY]

See?

From: http://becoming-a-new-yorker.blogspot.com/2006/08/week-recap-michael-kors-highlight.html:

"That is where I met my new favorite person in New York City. His name is David, he is an executive assistant to a big wig within the media company, and he is adorabely gay. How cliche is it for a twenty-something woman in New York City to have a flamboyantly gay friend? It is as cliche as reiterating Frank Sinatra's famous statement, "If you can make it in the New York City, you can make it anywhere."

[Natalee]

I used to be the "Queen Hag" at an old place of employment, and I really, really, miss my gays.

The "True Colors" tour is coming to town and I'm lamenting the fact that I have no gays to go with.

[cardiogirl]

Just give it time. Your gay will come.

[teahouseblossom]

I agree that life is just not the same without at least one gay boyfriend...