Meeting Summer Again

The last few weeks have been sort of a blur for me.  I have a million things on my mind and find myself often feeling nostalgic for the summers of yore when all I did was watch back-to-back episodes of You Can't Do That on Television and Saved by the Bell, lounge around at the community pool in unflattering one-pieces, and catch fireflies in the evening and sing "Dream a Little Dream" into my palm before setting them free again into the summer night.

These days, life goes so fast, I've got a lot demanding my attention right now, and it seems everyone I know is in the middle of a big transition and just not able to enjoy the season like we all used to when we were kids. 

Last night, I rode my bike to Lincoln Square to have a drink with a couple of friends.  On my way, I thought about the big decisions I need to make shortly, the fear of the unknown, and all the ways the lives of people I care about are mirroring big changes in my own.  I have close friends and family starting new careers, losing jobs, buying homes, getting divorced, reuniting with old loves, coping with parents' terminal illnesses, it's all so much sometimes.  I started getting a little panicky, kind of anxious.  "What if it doesn't work out?" I thought, " What if it doesn't work out?!"  Fill in the blank for the it -- I have a lot of "its" I'm contemplating at the moment -- in my career, my love life, my everything, really, and as I watch the people around me coping with their own "its," I feel overwhelmed by the weight of it all.

It was a gorgeous night and I was on my bike and it was dusk and the fireflies were out, but I was so wound up worrying about all these things I can't control, I couldn't even relax enough to enjoy this time of year that's so short anyway.  I peddaled faster to the bar for a beer, but even there, I still felt a million miles away.  (Not so far away I couldn't flirt with the hot, young bartender, let's not be crazy here, but far away, nonetheless.)

Then, on my ride home, I happened upon a group of people in the neighborhood square salsa dancing.  Someone had brought a radio, and at first, I assumed it was a class, but on closer inspection, it seemed to be a spontaneous gathering of people just getting up and dancing to the music someone thought to share.  Random men extended their hands to random women sitting on benches, and the ladies, in return, smiled or blushed or curtsied before being guided around the square, kicking their legs up flirtatiously, their skirts flaring as they twirled.  Some of the newly matched couples shuffled awkwardly, other glided effortlessly like they were born dancing together, and those of us onthe sideline, watched with the kind of wonder and amusement usually reserved for blockbusters and cute babies. 

Chicago has been unseasonably mild lately, like mountain weather, and last night was no exception.  The air was cool and crisp, the trees swayed lazily in the breeze, and feeling the beer working it's way through my body, I relaxed a little, finally.  Girls in skirts ate ice cream from the little euro bakery next door, boys on bikes smiled at me, I rang my imaginary bell and smiled back, and for a moment, my life, with all the "it's" and "what if's" melted into the night, and summer regained her hold on me again.

I got a text message from a friend.  "Bike ride?" it said. "Yes," I texted back. I peddaled over to the park outside his apartment and waited.  He came out, and we rode our bikes around and practiced cartwheels.
"I haven't done a cartwheel in ages!" he said, extending his arms in the air and positioning his feet.
"Me neither!" I replied, and for a few minutes, we re-acquainted our bodies to old moves. 
We re-acquainted our bodies to summer.

Comments

[Keith]

"I rode my bike to Lincoln Square to have a drink."

is that dangerous?

[citywendy]

Only if you're blindfolded.

[Scarlett]

There's nothing quite like a tipsy bike ride.

This mild summer (Texas is actually having a mild summer too) is awesome.

[Kendra]

This just may be my favorite post. Made me wish we had fireflies here in Colorado. Good stuff, Wendy.

[Allison]

This post was wonderful!

You know what I say about the anxiety? Everything always works out for the best. I can't think of a single time in my life when something bad stayed or uncertain stayed that way. I haven't lost anyone really close to me (by death, anyway), and that is something that can't be fixed, but other than that, everything always works out in the end. You'll finish your thesis and it'll be fantastic and I'll pass my board exam and we'll both find jobs we're suited for. It may take a while, but it will happen. And if all that positive thinking doesn't work out, you can just take a Xanax. I'm kidding! Really, I haven't had any in a week, and I was just fired two days ago!

By the way, Grandpa keeps pestering me to ask you to publish a poem of his, "The Spirit of America," on your blog. I tried to explain to him that his writing isn't really your style and wouldn't really fit in with the tone of your other writings, but he insisted I ask you. I can tell just from the title that you're going to decline.

Good luck finishing your thesis. Can't wait to see a copy of The Very Best Weblog Writings Ever in teh Whole Wide World...okay, I don't know the title, but I get the gist of it! Have a great week and a wonderful Independence Day!

[teahouseblossom]

Hooray for summer!! Chicago is probably pretty heavenly right now. New York is oppressive and disgustingly hot and muggy.

[leah]

this is nice. yay. yay for cartwheels & the nicest summer nights you could ever hope for.

[citywendy]

Scarlett, even TEXAS is mild?!

Kendra, no fireflies? Say it ain't so!!

Allison, if he read my blog, he would be absolutely appalled and would beg NOT to be associated with fuch filth.

THB: I have heard from a little bird that new york is oppressively hot right now. Hang in there, surely there will be a break!

Leah, yay!!