Life and Near-Death

My trip to New York was nothing short of spectacular.  Even the flight cancellation and 7-hour delay and near-death commute didn't deter from my happy mood.

Yes, near-death commute!  As in, the plane almost crashed.  As in, we were struck by lightning and the plane took a nose-dive and people were crying, and the the color completely drained from the faces of our flight attendants, and the cute Jewish doctor next to me, who, up until that point was making very pointed moves on me, started hyperventilating and grabbing my arm and telling me that if we didn't make it, he was glad he got to see my smile before we died.

Anyway, obviously we did make it, though we had to circle Philly for an hour while the storms cleared  from New York.  While we hovered, Cute Jewish Doctor and I had a couple glasses of wine and he asked me if he should propose to his girlfriend. 
"Probably not!"  I said.
"Why?"  He asked.
"Well, " I started, "The fact that you're asking a stranger on a plane whom you just said you'd like to kiss doesn't really bode well for your situation."
"Also," I continued, "Unless you can answer 'yes' to these questions, there's is no reason in the world to marry her.  Do you have more fun with her than anyone else?  Is she your favorite person to spend time with?  Does she make you laugh?  Is she the first person you call with exciting news?   Does she support you when you're down?  Is the sex amazing?  And, do you want her to be in your life when you're old?"
"God," he said, burying his head in his hands, "I can't really say 'yes' to any of those.'"
"Dude," I said, "Then, get the fuck out."

When we landed safely and everyone applauded and the color was restored to the faces of our flight attendants and the pilot announced it had been one of his roughest nights ever, Cute Jewish Doctor got out his cell phone and called his girl.  I didn't hear the conversation as I was busy gathering my things and checking my voice mail.  But the last thing he said to me as we exited the plane and he disappeared into the New York night was, "It's all your fault."

Um, is that Hebrew for 'thank you'?  'Cause that's really what he shoulda said.

Anyway!  The rest of the weekend was great, fantastic, wonderful.  Stayed with old college friends, one of whom was my roommate for 3 years and it was a delight to see them again, as well as watch Wendy Ho perform twice.  And, after wandering the streets and eating the best bagels ever with the creamiest cream cheese you can imagine and discovering little hole-in-the-wall restaurants with cheap amazing food and hearing 18 different languages on one city block and meandering through Chinatown and strolling through Little Italy and finding the best ever used-book store in Soho and drinking a glass of wine while perusing the shelves of $3 galleys and listening to Billie Holiday and gazing at beautiful people everywhere and squeezing fruit at the cutest little produce stands and flirting with hot boys on the subway and sitting in bars without suffocating in nasty-ass cigarette smoke and buying 3 adorable sweaters for  50 bucks at this fantastic store called Zara and feeling inspired by flower stands and filmmakers and incredible fashion and boots (!) on everyone and just the mad hungry invigorating energy of it all, I've decided I have no choice, I just have to move there.

So!  If you're in New York and you're someone important who can offer me a job that pays enough to finance the kind of lifestyle I've grown accustomed to and doesn't require me to take off my clothes, or file anything, or answer phones, or be very nice to people, or wear pantyhose, or really actually work that hard, sign me up!!  Also, it would be great if you could provide complimentary tickets to Broadway shows, and maybe a driver,too.  In return, I'll entertain you with funny stories and maybe bake cookies and sing songs sometimes.  Oh, this is gonna be so great.  I can't wait!

Comments

[Em]

Sometimes, I just really want to move there too. It's just all too fun and great!

Also, I can answer YES to all those questions and I am 99.5% sure that a certain boy can answer YES to them about me too. So...hurrah!?

[Erin]

I lived in NY for a few months in college and I am miss it daily. Last week I decided that I am moving there within 3 years.

Looks like there's going to be a mass exodus from Chicago.

[jamy]

I love the questions! I may have to link to them/cite you in my blog. You really did do that guy a favor.

I want to move to NY too. Need a roommate?

[Os]

Wow. Starting the trip by cheating DEATH. Where do you go from there?

BTW, I think we should refer to people, to their faces, in discriptive manners. I would have loved to have a young woman address me as "cute Jewish doctor"... yah know, if I was Jewish..... or a doctor... or.... shutup!

Sounds like you had a blast.

[david carradine]

welcome back, wendy! we missed you (or at least i did). i'd offer you a job in a heartbeat because i think you're smart, funny, charming and beautiful. however (and there's always a however), all those qualities also spell trouble with a capital T. every hard-earned warning light i have blinks RED at the mere thought of seeing your lovely presence on a daily basis. plus, i live way upstate, there's little to do, it's low paying, and i estimate you'd last about 1 hour before deciding you hated it. ...your college friends are better bets in helping you find gainful employment in nyc.

[red]

I love Zara too! Great story - Thanks for the post. It made me laugh, and made me see where I live (New York) in a new way.

[citywendy]

Em: Hurrah, indeed!

Erin: Chicago sort of pales in comparison doesn't it? Too bad it's like way, way cheaper to live here, though. A 3-year goal sounds good to me.

Jamy: Are you allergic to cats?

Os: Where DO you go from there? Also, you can be called 'Social Alchemist.' Oh wait...

DC: You're right -- I AM trouble with a capital 'T.' It really takes a special kind of guy to handle a girl like me.

Red: SO jealous of you right now. New York is simply amazing. Like a gigantic playground, it is.

[catbus]

A gigantic, unbelievably expensive playground.

Even so, I'm just happy that places like Greenwich Village still exist SOMEWHERE. I don't think I'd want to live in a world with no Greenwich Village. Although it'd be nice to live in a world where I could afford to reside in Greenwich Village.

[jamy]

I am most definitely NOT allergic to cats. Just ask my cat. ;)

[Larissa]

Funny we were both in NYC last weekend -- I was visiting pals also, and I love that Zara. That's crazy about the flying experience! I have an intense fear of flying, and whew that gave me chills!

[Allie]

Don't know if it's my morbid fascination in death or in distasters or if it's my overactive imagination, but for the past few years, every time I fly, I imagine my plane either breaking apart or getting hit by lightning. I think I would be terrified and sobbing and screaming, but at the same time, I'm really attracted to the thought of the excitement of it. I don't want to die though. Lately I've also kind of liked turbulence on the plane because it's sort of like an amusement park ride.

I've been thinking about moving to NYC too, but it's so expensive. I've started looking for jobs, but haven't really looked too hard. We wouldn't get along as roommates, either, but it would be fun to live in the same city as you. What do you think? I'm sure you think the city would eat me alive, but I really want to live in a huge, alive city. I want to be near museums and famous architecture and plays and people who aren't just white, heterosexual, blue-collar, deer-hunting republicans. I want to hear different languages spoken on the street and I want to be able to go to an Ethiopian restaurant or take a walk through a neighborhood full of Eastern European immigrants. Maybe someday. For now, I just need to focus on getting through the next four months and graduating.

[david carradine]

allie, the sister, right?

"We wouldn't get along as roommates, either, but it would be fun to live in the same city as you. What do you think?"

if i could bud in here, i think that's a great idea. when the chips are down, there's no substitute for family.

"I want to be near museums and famous architecture and plays and people who aren't just white, heterosexual, blue-collar, deer-hunting republicans."

boy, do i know that feeling... btw, how's that alito thing coming along?

[teahouseblossom]

Funny..we were both in NYC this weekend. Oh wait, I live here! Hardy har har.

Glad you had fun. Isn't it an amazing city?

And watch out for Zara. Their stuff is cute, but it falls apart rather quickly.

[Bethany]

You can't move to NY! If you move to New York you won't be "City Wendy in the _Windy_ City" anymore. And then how will the devoted masses find your blog?

[Laurie Fisher]

Move to New York. Zara is a fantastic store from Spain. They make really pricy stuff. I imagine it was good fortune that found their stuff on sale.

[citywendy]

Catbus: *le sigh* Greenwich Village!

Larissa: Try Xanax when flying!!

Aliie: Try Xanax!

THB: Zara, I think, is like H&M in that you buy cite, trendy stuff for cheap on sale that you don't expect to last more than one season, which is perfect since the clothes will be out of style after that anyway. You're so lucky to live in Manhattan. Sooo jealous!

Bethany: Will have to change the name of the blog. To what? I don't know. Ideas?

Laurie Fisher: It must be a sign, then!

[Dave]

You know it's hard to find something nice to say about New York...after growing up in Chicago. But I got to hand to them when it comes to bagels. Nice going Tony.

[Bethany]

I can't think of a new name, but with your insomnia you should definitely turn a clever phrase around "The City that Never Sleeps."

[shanon]

I'm frightened of turbulence, you are a champ.

How about City Wendy of the Not Windy but Fabulous City.

[dinyel]

i just found your website and i must say i love your style of writing! :)

[citywendy]

Dave: Best bagels EVER!

Bethany: Hmmm...will think about it...

Shanon: Try Xanax when you fly! ;)

Dinyel: Thanks.

[david carradine]

maybe we all can show a little more regard for human frailties... poor allie.