Everyone must read Zulkey's blog today, and then please, please, for the love of God, please stop saying such stupid things all the time. It's exhausting me.
And just in case you need a head's up on other irritating words and phrases that bug the hell out of me:
"Woot" What? I don't get it.
"Asshat" What IS that? Seriously, can we all just say "asshole" like normal fucking people?
"Wasted" as in "I was so wasted." Really? Look, 20-year-olds get wasted. Adults get drunk. That's it -- just drunk. Okay?
"Shit-faced." See above.
"Capiche?" Ugh!!! Just stop. Even if you're Italian, there's no excuse.
"Diarrhea of the mouth." Oh please, don't even get me started on that one.
Oh, those stupid shirts that say "Kiss me, I'm {Irish} or {Italian} or {Chinese} or {A Redhead} or whatever. God, no, I won't kiss you! I don't care what you are -- unless you're cute and charming and funny and smart, or unless I am "shitfaced," I am NOT going to kiss you, so quit.
"Best," as a sign-off in emails. Best what?!
And, in grad school, I fucking can't stand it when people say, "Enter the conversation." God, how pretentious.
I could not agree more about "shit faced" and "wasted". I did write today that someone was an "asshat" though. Ooops.
Posted by: Em | January 24, 2006 at 11:20 AM
"Diarrhea of the mouth". I wish some people were a little more literal and a little less icky, y'know?
I found out the other day that "woot" is actually an acronym. WHAT. "We Owned the Other Team". WHAT.
Anyway. All this to say that I've recently come across your blog and it's fantastic! Thanks for writing such great entries!
Posted by: Chels | January 24, 2006 at 11:32 AM
When you figure out what an asshat is let me know. Oh and what are moonbats?
Posted by: Toad734 | January 24, 2006 at 12:31 PM
how about for shits and giggles
Posted by: peter | January 24, 2006 at 12:42 PM
I've read a few of your blog entries, and this is the first time I've decided to comment because I have a few phrases that could be added to the list.
retard/retarded - I absolutely hate when people say this. For one, whether it's them, someone else or a thing they're calling retarded, it's pretty offensive. Also, whatever they're calling retarded probably isn't, and the word they are looking for is probably "stupid". Lastly, retarded means slow...not stupid. So, since people have no clue what it's like to be mentally challenged, they just need to start calling themselves idiots.
Gay - I hate it when people say "that's so gay" or "you're being gay". The term is usually used to describe something probably "stupid" or "dumb" and that has nothing to do with what it means. Gay is used to describe sexuality or when you're happy and when it's used negatively it seems like it would be offensive to some people.
Posted by: riane | January 24, 2006 at 12:59 PM
Em: it's okay, just don't do it again!!
Chels: Seriously about woot? I still don't get it!!
Toad734: I have never heard of moonbats, thankfully.
Peter: Yes! "Shits and giggles" or "shits and grins" = so stupid!!
Riane: Hmmm...I don't say retarded on account of an old boyfriend having a retarded uncle and getting really offended when I'd forget and then really tactlessly using the word as an adjective.
And I don't say "gay" too much, but sometimes I call thigns "queer," but I'm one of the biggest fag hags around, so I feel like it should be okay. Not really?
Posted by: citywendy | January 24, 2006 at 02:57 PM
Seriously about woot. It's gotta be a gamer term or something.
I could probably join together all the offensive phrases in the world to tell gamers how lame "woot" is.
Hey gamers. You're retarded. "Woot" is totally gay.
(I'm a fag hag too, so yeah... hypocrite, but with charm!)
Posted by: Chels | January 24, 2006 at 03:23 PM
I just found your blog and I love it! Now for my annoyances...
"It's on like Donkey Kong" Seriously what does that mean? It doesn't even really rhyme!
Perfectly sober people who insist on talking like Yoda.
Using IM acronyms in normal conversations. "lol" is not a word folks!
Posted by: Cloudy | January 24, 2006 at 05:37 PM
My ex-boyfriend used the term woot all the time in written conversations. Also, everything was "awesome" with him.
By the way, I'm in college, not yet 23, and I've never used the word "wasted," though it may have been appropriate a few times (e.g. last St. Pat's Day when I was with you.)
Posted by: Allie | January 24, 2006 at 07:56 PM
Signage. I mean, really, is there something wrong with the word "signs"?
That said, I use the words "retarded" and "gay" constantly. If we're going to eliminate everything that's offensive in life, I suggest we start with the Steve Miller Band. Let me enjoy my 8th-grade vocabulary a little longer.
Posted by: Barrett | January 24, 2006 at 11:07 PM
I think "Enter the Conversation" is what you get when you insert a Bruce Lee cameo into "My Dinner With Andre." Now THAT'S cinema!
P.S. Personally, I could live in a world without "meh."
Posted by: catbus | January 25, 2006 at 05:27 AM
Ooh -- three more that must go: "eclectic," "decadent" and "partner in crime."
Also, I think "We Owned the Other Team" is a back-formation, like "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge," and originally "Woot!" was just a noise, like a steam whistle would make.
Posted by: catbus | January 25, 2006 at 05:32 AM
I suppose gay depends on the context in which you use it...
I mean...it's just annoying when I do something to upset my boyfriend and he says "you're being gay". It doesn't make sense to me...
Posted by: riane | January 25, 2006 at 12:24 PM
Cloudy: Thank god, I've never heard anyone say Donkey Kong in referenfce to anything, but if I had, it would be on my list, for sure.
Allie: Because you were 22 at the time, you were wasted and I have the pcitures to prove it. (I'm sucha bad influence)
Barrett: Ilike your name.
Catbus: Meh? really? thankfully, I don't hear that one too muchm either. "Partner in Crime" is really stupid, though.
Riane: when i see couples with matching outfits and designer dogs, I will say, " oh my, that's gay!" Is that okay??
Posted by: citywendy | January 25, 2006 at 02:38 PM
I thought of a few more today: "half a mind," "I'm fixin' to," and "near miss."
A near miss is when you don't hit something, so if you nearly hit it and don't, wouldn't that be a near hit, and not a near miss?
Posted by: Allie | January 25, 2006 at 04:41 PM
Wow...I have never heard "Enter the conversation." That is THE most obnoxious phrase. It almost makes me speechless because of how obnoxious it is. I'm actually shaking my head right now in disgust imagining someone saying that. God, get OVER YOURSELVES!!!
Posted by: katy | January 25, 2006 at 06:42 PM